Dark Night of the Soul: What It Is, Why It Happens, and How to Get Through It

There is a stage in spiritual growth that almost no one talks about in the self-help world, because it does not sell workshops or retreats. It is not pleasant. It is not something you can positive-think your way through. It is called the dark night of the soul, and if you are in the middle of it, you need honest information, not reassurance.

This guide explains what the dark night of the soul actually is, how it differs from clinical depression, what purpose it serves, and most importantly, what actually helps you navigate it.

The Origin of the Term

The phrase “dark night of the soul” comes from a 16th century poem by the Spanish mystic and Carmelite priest St John of the Cross. The poem, written while he was imprisoned by members of his own religious order, describes the soul’s journey through spiritual desolation toward union with the divine.

In the original context, the dark night was understood as a gift, not a punishment. It was the stripping away of all the comfortable spiritual consolations, the feelings, the certainties, the experiences that the soul had come to rely on, so that something more authentic and enduring could emerge.

The term has since been adopted by psychologists, spiritual teachers, and writers across traditions to describe a similar process: the collapse of the ordinary self and the long, disorienting journey through that collapse toward something new.

What the Dark Night Is and Is Not

The dark night of the soul shares surface similarities with clinical depression, and this distinction is critical. Both involve a loss of meaning, emotional pain, withdrawal, and difficulty functioning. But they are fundamentally different in origin and trajectory.

Clinical depression is primarily a neurochemical and psychological condition that can arise without any spiritual catalyst and does not necessarily resolve through spiritual means alone. It often requires medical and therapeutic intervention and does not have an inherent directional movement toward growth.

The dark night of the soul, by contrast, emerges specifically within the context of a spiritual awakening. It is driven by the dismantling of a false self or an outgrown identity, and it carries a quality of purposeful movement beneath the pain. Many people in the dark night describe a paradoxical sense that something important is happening even though nothing feels good.

Importantly, these are not mutually exclusive. A dark night of the soul can co-exist with clinical depression, and both deserve attention. If you are struggling to function, please consult a medical or mental health professional alongside any spiritual support you seek.

Common Triggers

The dark night rarely arrives without a catalyst. Common triggers include the death of someone you love, the end of a long relationship, a serious health crisis, the collapse of a belief system, a period of profound failure, or the recognition that the life you have been living is not the life you actually want.

Sometimes there is no single trigger. The dark night can creep in gradually, a slow accumulation of disillusionment and grief that eventually reaches a threshold. Whatever its origin, once it arrives, it demands attention.

What It Feels Like from Inside

From inside the dark night, the world loses its color. Things that once brought joy feel empty. Spiritual practices that once felt alive feel mechanical. Prayer or meditation may feel useless. The sense of connection to something larger that may have been present earlier in the awakening process disappears entirely.

There is often a profound exhaustion. Not just physical tiredness, but a bone-deep weariness of maintaining the old self. There may be grief without an obvious source, a mourning for something you cannot name. There may be anxiety about the future and confusion about identity. Who am I, and what am I doing here?

Time moves strangely. Days feel long and meaningless. Weeks pass without progress. The temptation to medicate this state with busyness, substances, or distraction is strong.

The Purpose of the Dark Night

Understanding the purpose of the dark night does not make it painless, but it makes it bearable.

The dark night strips away the ego’s false constructions. The identities, beliefs, defenses, and stories you have used to make sense of yourself and your life are shown to be incomplete. This is disorienting because those constructions have been load-bearing. They held your sense of reality together. When they collapse, it genuinely feels like you are falling apart.

But the collapse of a false self creates space for a more authentic self to emerge. The dark night is, at its core, an identity restructuring. What comes through the other side is not who you were before. It is something more genuinely you, less dependent on approval, less defended, more alive.

Understanding the stages of spiritual awakening can help you place the dark night within a larger arc. It is a phase, not a permanent state. Knowing this is important.

How Long Does It Last?

There is no single answer. Some dark nights last weeks. Others last months. In rare cases, they extend for years. The duration is affected by the depth of what is being dismantled, the amount of resistance you bring to the process, and the quality of your support.

Fighting the dark night tends to prolong it. Forcing yourself to feel better, filling every moment with activity to avoid the feeling, or demanding that it resolve on your preferred timeline all tend to extend the process. Allowing it, while maintaining basic self-care, is usually faster, even though it feels counterintuitive.

What NOT to Do During the Dark Night

Several common impulses during the dark night tend to make things worse:

Numbing with alcohol, substances, excessive food, or compulsive media consumption. These delay the process without addressing it.
Forcing positivity. Pretending you are fine when you are not adds a layer of inauthenticity to an already painful process.
Isolating completely. Some solitude is healthy and necessary. Total isolation without any human contact tends to worsen suffering.
Making major life decisions from the depths of the dark night. If at all possible, avoid significant irreversible decisions while you are in the deepest part of this phase.
Comparing your dark night to someone else’s awakening. Spiritual social media is not an accurate representation of what transformation actually looks like.

What Actually Helps

Certain practices consistently support people through the dark night:

Journaling. Writing without an agenda, letting whatever is present come onto the page, can help process the grief and confusion that the dark night stirs up. It also creates a record that helps you track movement over time.

Time in nature. There is something about the natural world that provides perspective and grounding when the inner world is in chaos. Even brief daily time outdoors can help.

Reducing stimulation. The dark night is already a high-intensity inner experience. Reducing external noise, news, social media, and unnecessary demands gives you more capacity to be with what is arising.

Allowing grief. The dark night often contains grief that needs to be expressed rather than managed. Crying, physical movement, and honest expression with trusted people all help move the grief through rather than keeping it lodged.

Gentle movement. Walking, gentle yoga, and swimming help keep the body from storing the emotional weight of the process as tension. The body needs to be included in the healing.

Trusted support. A therapist, spiritual director, close friend who truly understands, or a skilled spiritual reader can offer perspective and presence when the dark night feels most isolated. If you are seeking spiritual guidance, learning about what a psychic reading involves may help you decide whether that form of support is right for you.

Energy practices. As you begin to stabilize, gentle practices that raise your energetic vibration can support the movement out of the deepest part of the dark night. These include gratitude practices, music, creative expression, and acts of service.

Signs You Are Emerging from the Dark Night

The dark night does not end with a dramatic announcement. The emergence is usually gradual and quiet. Watch for these signs:

Small moments of genuine joy or beauty begin to return.
You start to feel curiosity again, about ideas, people, or possibilities.
The exhaustion begins to lift, even slightly.
You notice flashes of clarity about who you are and what you want.
Gratitude appears without effort.
A sense of acceptance about what has changed, rather than ongoing resistance to it.

The person who emerges from the dark night is not the same as the person who entered it. That is the point.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if I’m in a dark night of the soul?

If you are experiencing profound loss of meaning, spiritual emptiness, identity dissolution, and a feeling that something fundamental is being stripped away, and this is happening in the context of a larger spiritual awakening, you are likely in the dark night. The key marker is that beneath the pain, there is a sense that something important is occurring even if you cannot name it.

Can the dark night of the soul happen more than once?

Yes. Many people experience multiple dark nights at different points in their lives, each one going deeper than the last. Each is triggered by a new layer of false identity or attachment that is ready to be released.

Is it safe to go through the dark night alone?

Some solitude is part of the process. But complete isolation is not recommended. Having at least one person who understands what you are going through, whether a friend, therapist, or spiritual guide, can make a significant difference. If symptoms of severe depression or self-harm arise, seek professional help immediately.

Does everyone who has a spiritual awakening go through a dark night?

Most people who undergo genuine spiritual transformation experience some version of the dark night. The depth and duration vary considerably. Some people experience it as a gentler grieving process. Others are brought to their knees by it. The common thread is that something of the old self must be released before the new can emerge.

The dark night of the soul is one of the most isolating spiritual experiences there is. If you are in it and need grounding, a psychic reading focused on spiritual development can help you understand what you are being asked to release and what comes next. See our guide to the best psychic platforms for readers who work with transformation.